It Takes Three to Tango (2.5 out of 5 Stars)
A film review by Matt Brigner
The Players: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura
What’s Going On: A world renown German doctor made a career out of splitting Siamese twins and since his retirement he has picked up a new hobby. He successfully connects three rottweilers, which unfortunately didn’t make it, and now has dreams of connecting 3 humans via one large digestive tract. Cue two lost American travelers who won’t be missed and an angry Japanese man who the doctor successfully kidnaps. Wear your scrubs, it is about to get messy.
What Is Most Disturbing About This Movie: I know you’re thinking that the prospect of seeing an actual human centipede is destined to be the most disturbing aspect here, but that is probably third on the list of “Top Three Disturbing Aspects in The Human Centipede”. First, I would put the performance of Dieter Laser as the deranged Dr. Heiter whose expressions throughout the film are scary enough to evoke nightmares. Second most disturbing aspect would be the whines and moans of the unfortunate second and third pieces in the human centipedes. For the experiment to work properly they lose their ability to use their mouths which makes groaning and crying their only way to communicate. Last and certainly not least you have The Human Centipede, which provides me enough motivation to never knock on a stranger’s door ever again.
Who Will Love This Movie: Fans of the gore genre, extreme horror fans, and people who want to watch something super shocking.
Who Will Hate This Movie: Everyone else.
Avoid At All Costs: Watching this movie on a date. This would undoubtedly ruin conversation for the rest of the night. The only way to watch this is alone, or next to like minded buddies. When the credits start to roll you will probably sit in silence for a while wondering if you had just done something wrong. Don’t worry, that feeling will pass after you watch a few Disney flicks.
Don’t Get Me Wrong: This isn’t a horrible movie. It just makes you feel horrible. The acting from Dieter Laser is memorable at the very least and the other actors pull their weight. I wasn’t sold on the acting of Ashley Williams and Ashlynn Yennie until they were forced to act with just whimpers, groans and facial expressions. At these moments they excel and enhance the feeling of peril you get from watching this. The director does a fairly good job showing you horror without showing using excessive amounts of blood. This is a gift that few horror directors nowadays possess.
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